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Old 10-31-2014, 10:14 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
desypete
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
looks like you got lucky and the trouble you are scared about isnt going to become public knowledge

many a times in my drinking everyone got to find out what i had done and i had to face the humiliation of it all

it stopped me drinking for a while as i would promise never to do it again and mean it as well
but over time as i was no doing anything other than not drinking i got restless and started to forget about how ashamed i would of been about myself
for some reason i would think to myself well it wouldnt of happend had such and such a thing never happend

in the end i would try to drink again and try not to get drunk if only i didnt get so drunk then none of the bad things would of ever of happend in my mind

and it was true as well if i could drink like everyone else could i wouldnt end up in a mess or do things i would be ashamed of the next day

but the fact was and is i am not like other people i can not drink and drink without getting drunk, if i get drunk then who knows what i might do in that state

but i had to keep on trying to control my drinking until in the end i did enough to drive everyone who loved me away from me

people get sick of it and sick of us in time

so i am glad you have got away with it this time elle so what are you going to do to make sure it never happens again ?

there is only one way that i know of that i can make sure i dont end up drunk and therefore i dont end up waking up the next day full of that fear and shame

if i dont pick up that first drink i can not get to the 10th drink or get drunk

i learned this simple thing in aa and i learned a hell of lot more besides but that one rule for me holds true
no matter what happens in my life on any given day so long as i dont pick up that first drink i am in with a chance

but first of all i have to come to accpet it all without any more wishes or feelings that once the heat dies down i can go back to drinking again as thats what i always did before

good luck to you
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