If you make it will be up to you and we will be there along the way to help, support and be honest with you. I don't do meetings but I'm here all the time. Reading other's posts is very helpful to me and if I never need to vent, or if I get a craving I get here and post about it and that releases some of the tension. I am also learning a lot about alcoholism and problem drinking which has helped me have a more objective view of my situations. SR is available 24/7, that is also great. If you do the work (and I don't mean it in a 12 step exclusively way) you will prevail. You are acknowledging it, being honest and that is the first step. Make your life what you want it to be. It is possible.