Originally Posted by Choobie

Captain, that's a really good insight! And it's far reaching. The positive things we do while sober really do affect our lives for the better. I'm rooting for your day 1!!!

I think this coming upon 90 days period might be a little something to go through, team! But this is the kind of stuff that's going to give us our sober foundation and the beginings of our sober life. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. Even when it doesn't feel like it.

In August, I was sitting in an overflowing portapottie, with alcohol poisoning. I was wishing for a miracle or death. I missed a whole day with my family, and I had dodged a bullet the night before because I had run out of alcohol. Any day, I would have lost my life to alcohol. I never imagined that my drinking could progress so quickly and so completely out of my control. Although I drank every day, I had recently started chugging alcohol until I passed out every few days and had just begun to drink even faster to get more in before I passed out. I suffered from alcohol poisoning more than once over the summer, and that was only two months and I was sober for 20 days of that! Even if I managed to hang on drinking at that level, I would have emotionally killed my family and hurt those around me even more than I already had. Even if I'm never as happy as I imagined I would be sober, I am alive. And I'm not indirectly hurting anyone. I can't let my life slip away to alcohol, no matter how long that would take. I can't win over a substance. I can only win by never taking another sip again. So at the end of every day, even when it hurts, I win. That portapottie seems like a million miles away, but all I have to do is drink again and I'm promised an experience just like it! It helps to remember sometimes. Most days it feels like I'm fighting for a better life, but really, I'm making all these changes so I can keep living. For real!