I feel like I am reading my post from just a couple posts down! MHL2282 - I know too well how you feel and am so sorry you are going through this. I just wanted to let you know that it does get better and it does feel easier... not every day...maybe not most days, but it does. Stay strong and focus on you...zozo has a great point about learning to like yourself when you are alone. I'm still struggling with that one. I work in health care and I constantly hear patients tell me how depressed they are feeling alone. It makes me realize how important it is to learn that now when I have friends and family to support me and good health to stay active and figure out what it is that makes me feel excited and confident, instead of when I'm hit by even more challenges and feel even more alone.
As for the AGF - I know the feeling. I too caught myself feeling jealous, wondering what she had that I didn't. What I did wrong?
But the answer was that it wasn't about me...and its not about you. She makes it easier for him to use, and realistically he's probably not being that great to her either. In my case he was cheating and untruthful to her for months while he came and told me he loved me and wanted to fix things and slept in my bed. I now see it as a blessing that she have him, as it's giving me a chance to catch my breath, find my balance and run. Today, I am honestly scared for the day that she asks him to be more responsible or to be anything real. I known eventually it too will fall apart and I am praying that he does not show up on my door asking for forgiveness. I still don't trust that I have the strength to say no.
A line I have always loved from the movie p.s. I love you: "Thing to remember is, if we are all alone, then we're all together in that too." We are all here for you!