Originally Posted by
mistyeye 
I just have it in my mind if he came home I could make it better. I have never been through this nor been subject to such an addicting drug. I have no clue what this drug does. I just dont understand how a drug can make you leave everything behind and not care.
It's chemistry and biology, Misty. And psychology, too. There's a lot of factors at play.
But at the end of the day, he's made some very bad choices.
He was the one that gave himself permission to get into that stuff in the first place. And once that stuff gets a hold of someone, it doesn't let go easily.
Addiction is a very, very selfish condition. The only thing that matters to the addict is maintaining the feeling while they are intoxicated. And towards that end, they will lie, cheat, steal, and use people without remorse.
I know you're very, very hurt about this, but you need to ask yourself is this the sort of people you want to raise a kid with.
Even if he were to come back and attempt to get clean, he wouldn't have the emotional bandwidth to be a responsible partner, or parent. That's why I believe, in some way, he did you a favor by taking off. He has shown you he's not fit to be a partner or a parent. And now it's your responsibility to take charge and raise your son as best you can.
Keep reading, keep posting, keep learning. And in time, it will be OK.