Originally Posted by
LonelyShadow 
Oh I thought it might also help me to write down the madness of the relapse before I minimise it in my mind or somehow convince myself it wasn't that bad;
- Driving drunk, to the off-licence, at 10:30 on a Monday morning to buy 12 ciders
- Missing three days of work
- Having such vivid and horrific nightmares I suspect I may have been hallucinating
- Numerous bizarre messages and conversations online to various friends and acquaintances
- Being violently sick and worrying that if I kept throwing up I wouldn't be able to keep the alcohol inside me
- Taking five full binliners of empty cider cans to the recycling centre this morning
This is such madness, I have GOT to stop this cycle.
Your recent experience brings tears to my eyes, especially because it sounds as though this recent relapse was so potentially dangerous for you. If I recall you live in a small town and are hesitant to try AA (my apologies if I am recalling incorrectly) but I am wondering if having a sponsor wouldn't be a really good thing (I know a few AA people and I have never heard them "out" anyone; if God is an issue, I have heard them say that the HP is what you want it to be). I'm not pushing AA; I am just worried about LS; I want to see LS move forward and continue to build on that amazing progress and success he has already enjoyed.