Originally Posted by
soverylost 
Ultimatums are hard. You need to be very sure what you are doing. I've given a couple ultimatums but have not followed through, basically because I was using it as a tactic to manipulate his behaviour. I'm trying to learn a new way of dealing with his addiction where I can positively reinforce his good non addict behaviours, which is more my style.
If you were to give an ultimatum, are you prepared to follow thru with it?
Nope, not yet - that's why I haven't. I also think there are a few things to try or talk about before I got there.
Honestly, I made the choice years ago to stay and work on this. I've not been convinced that an ultimatum is the way to go. It has taken it's toll on me though and I'm reaching a breaking point. I've withdrawn from him and feel like we are more roommates than anything else.
I've read a few things around here the last couple days and want to look into a few other things. I have only scratched the surface of rational recovery but am really interested in learning more in the coming days.