I know guys but it's hard to control feelings specially when I see all the waste because of people dropping the ball. Its a long story but it's been like the Chinese torture of the drop of water in the head. In a nutshell I have to babysit and fix someone else mistakes, cover her tracks, bend backwards and never say no. This person makes 10k more than me, and it just burns. Now the problem is that my supervisors were supposed to give me a response about something and they didn't and then it blew up. I know I shouldn't get so mad. (I'm really not stabbing anyone
) I have over 7 months, I'm healthy, I have a beautiful family... I feel blessed and so happy in this moment in my life. Writing it down is really putting it into perspective.
Now: this is the strange thing, why was I thinking "I wish I could have 1 to relax"... Immediate, my AV jumps on it... I thought about it for a little bit, I mean, my AV was shouting. Why revert to that? Is it going to be like this forever for me... Arghhhhh... The truth is putting it here helps. I thought of posting right away. I'm just impulsive. The leit motif of my life is putting my foot in my mouth. Plus, I do CARE! I just had a tiny raise after 5 years of nothing, ZIP, and seeing money wasted is disappointing. Everybody else complains but does nothing... Ok bla bla, over that. I'm young and I'm still maturing and changing but geezzzz. I need to stop caring about it, I guess that's what happens when you work for the government.