I am overwhelmed with this feeling of gratitude. I have tried to get sober in the past and I was always feeling like every minute away from alcohol was hell. I had my moment of clarity, and until I experienced it firsthand I would roll my eyes at that statement. I feel so unbelievably happy to be sober. I was self medicating my anxiety and was unaware that I hadn't stopped to wonder, "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Was I drinking because I was anxious or was I anxious because I was drinking?" I have been sober for close to two weeks and that is a big step for me. I have been abusing alcohol for about seven years, aside from my two back to back pregnancies. I looked so healthy and vibrant while pregnant... and at 27 I am realizing that alcohol is a beast that I cannot conquer. It does nothing for my head, my heart, my looks, or my relationships (and my god the gastritis, wahhhhhh haha). I am lucky to be alive. Im lucky to feel the ups and downs and take it in stride. I am lucky to have made sense of the poisoning I was enduring and looking the other way. I cannot be moderate because I have an addictive personality. But in that, there is light. As addicts we all can channel our drive into positive things, with the assurance that we will take THAT too far also.
thanks for reading and supporting me when I need it most...As your friend, the stranger, I need all of you to be strong along with me. Thanks for the inspiration.