Originally Posted by
petmagnet 
Should he become complacent about his recovery and not take it seriously
In terms of "tightening up your hula hoop", this might be a good place to start.
Complacency and seriousness are subjective terms, and therefore impossible for you nail down. IMO it probably would be a good idea to not even start down that path. Confrontations that included the line "You're not taking this seriously" usually end up somewhere in left field, and rarely end productively. At least in my experience. It's just too easy for the other person to say "yes I am".
I've said many times before that we need to use our A's sober time to our advantage, by working on our own recovery. Try and use this time as best you can to patch up that hula hoop. Little things like language can make a big difference when establishing boundaries. Not just for your A but for yourself as well. Boundaries, after all, are for you.
Good Luck, Petmagnet. I think this is a very valuable post.