I think seek, what you are trying to say is that you know there are practical things to do about this, but they are really hard to do emotionally. I get that.
I personally know Stung is doing ALOT of self work. That is neither here nor there. What she is giving you is the practical side, which after years of being involved on an emotional level, you figure out eventually the practical part is the only part that changes any of the ACTIONS.
It's hard not to worry when we know our own actions and boundaries may change how someone feels about us or sees us. Yet there is a choice to make some changes or just let it go on and on. It is easy to feel guilty when you truly want to help someone else, but the help they want you know is not good for them.
I wish I had all the answers. I do know sometimes it's easier to make change slowly. So maybe putting in one boundary, that you will not offer money for example. If someone is hungry, offer food only. Etc. That is just an example. Then slowly put in another boundary. This way it eases both you and the other person into getting usto that things are changing.
I wish you luck and blessings. It's so hard to see those you care about make bad decisions, I don't think that part ever changes.