Hi Febbies,
Lulu - I completely understand and can relate to what you're saying about where you are versus where you thought you'd be in life. Where you thought you should be and where you're going don't have to match, but if you want them to, they can. I read a wonderful book when I was feeling the same way, called "Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life" by James Hollis, a Jungian psychologist. It's dense reading. I took my time with it, absorbed it, thought about it. The concepts that resonated with me at the time have driven a lot of my growth in early sobriety. He has another book, "What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life." Addiction held me back. One of the gifts I've found in sobriety is being able to think about what I want AND being able to get back out and achieve it.
Casinva - I've had a lot of ideas of what I might want to do "when I grow up." Sobriety reopened the part of my mind that dreamed about and planned for the future. I could toss ideas around indefinitely and never do anything about them. Eventually I had to give myself a deadline to choose one idea and act on it.
Off to work. Have a good day Febbies!