Hi MyFreedom sorry you are having to deal with all this.
I have read back through your threads. You have moved in and out of living with AH a couple times since 2011 correct? Multiple DUI, two PFA, and the normal insanity of living with an alcoholic.
I implore you to listen to your children and educate yourself about what happens to kids whom are raised in an alcoholic home. Children need stability - they have it where you are now - they do not want to be around their father.
Happiness is not a cure for alcoholism. What your AH is doing is manipulating you. "If we are a family I will quit drinking"……well, haven't you BEEN a family before? Haven't you moved out and back in before? Why didn't it work before?
No one, or no situation can cure alcoholism except the desire to be sober. You are worried about hurting his feelings - is is worried about hurting you and your children? Nope. Because like most alcoholics he has a myopic vision of life that there world revolves around him and he is the most important part of the puzzle; therefore, HIS needs, HIS feelings and HIS desires come FIRST.
Thing is you aren't required to tell him anything, he knows you and he is putting pressure on you doing a little button pushing here. You do not have to tell him you are done until you are ready to do so.
I think you do need to lay some boundaries that would be healthy for you such as not taking his calls or discussing things beyond the kids. He doesn't get to control you unless you let him.
Best to you and (((hugs)))