Rob, I think that's what is so confusing and frustrating about this. It's like, "Where the hell did this come from?" I need to remember that, in the words of the big book, "we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful". I feel pretty baffled right now, lol! Also, the avatar is a picture of my dog Gimli. I love her to pieces, and she is one of the things that keep me on the path of sobriety. I really like your suggestion to get out of the house or to force myself to go out and do something. I struggle with depression, and I definitely have a tendency to isolate myself if I am feeling upset/sad/mad, etc. And that's when that sneaky AV starts creeping in and telling me I would be so much better off if I just had one drink.