Thank you, Cow, and RobbyRobot. Yes, I feel absolutely desperate. Waking up every day, it feels like a fresh hell, desperately hoping from an email from my sister, but I have to go on, without substances, we must keeping trying, and I will. I've worked hard to get this far, surely there must be some meaning to it all?
Sorry to hijack your thread, Cow. Please take care of yourself, thinking about you.