Originally Posted by
MythOfSisyphus 
I think you're presenting a false dichotomy; it's not just sobriety or a social life, you can have both. Why not try going to the places where your friends drink and have a soda? For the sake of argument set aside the issue of triggers. Obviously if you can't drink soda while others are drinking booze that won't work.
My point is that regular drinkers aren't watching everyone else's consumption. Normal drinkers won't think it's odd if you drink club soda.
Plus, there are plenty of social activities that don't involve booze.
BTW, welcome to SR!
Hi there, yes it's a good point that drinkers aren't really monitoring who is and isn't drinking but I guess I have always been overly self conscious in that sense. Ultimately I just think unless you are going to a place where the ambience is such that you can still go out and enjoy the environment and not drink, then fine. But if it's a loud bar with loud music and you can barely hear yourself speak, i kind of think, why bother.
I suppose, it is entirely possible to enjoy these kind of places not drinking, but it does not feel natural ATM. Perhaps it will become easier and more enjoyable to enjoy nights out after not drinking for a longer time period.. Again, I have realised a big difference is that when not drinking I really feel my tiredness and it's harder to shake off that tiredness when not drinking. So then I guess I need to find a time to go out not feeling so tired. It just all feels like a big challenge to get it right.
I will be getting a car this week (after having not driven for a few months) so I guess at least I can make socialising more convenient as it means it will take less time then public transport to nip to where my friends are and also leave and get back into my car and have a quick peaceful journey back.