Oh. Em. Gee.
So, I was still extremely frustrated by Ricardo today. And I said out loud - not where he could hear - "my entire life I've been told how I should or shouldn't feel." And I said to myself hmmmm maybe I should look at that a little closer. So I Googled the statement that had come out of my mouth. And what do you think good old Google came up with? Adult Child of an Alcoholic or other dysfunctional environment as my first choice of search return options.
I scoffed slightly. I had great parents whose love for me I have never once doubted.
But hey now wait a minute..the question of whether my Dad (my step-dad actually, who raised me) was an alcoholic has been the subject of mild debate in my family. I have always been on the side of he was not - although looking back and having more knowledge on the topic now I can see that he definitely was a more-than-your average drinker and could have quite possibly been a very high functioning alcoholic. But it was the dysfunctional environment that really caught my eye. Because there were boatloads of dysfunctional behavior in my family. Dysfunction that I'd say goes back a couple of generations at least.
So I took I little peek at the ACA "big book." WOW!! I identified with pretty much everything I read. Strongly. Wow. Mind blowing wow. Tears flowed. Tears are still flowing. And relief. Others feeling exactly the way I do? The way I've felt my entire life? Wow.
So, I'll be playing in the ACOA sandbox here on SR, in addition to here. I have never even wandered in to that area.
Wow.
NCG