Dandylion, great post, and worthy of saving!
Someone recently posted that "time takes time", and I think your post here is the explanation of what that meant. How I wish that simply making the decision to change would instantly cause the change to happen, all at once and fully realized. It doesn't seem to go that way, though. Not by a long shot.
Again, thanks for taking the time and thought to express this so well. I'm very grateful--it's something I needed to hear now.