I'm so sorry, MIR... I'm going through my own current version of this, just the other way around, with my elderly father, who is alive and often in good spirits, but is declining fast. It is so hard and sometimes my feelings are so chaotic I get quite lost at times. But I am here with him, trying to make the best out of what we have left...
I can't imagine doing this relative to my child. My heart goes out to you.
Based on your posts, your feelings and grieving does seem very healthy and normal and I admire your strength. On the counseling, perhaps your process does not need to be fixed or changed, but maybe just talking about it in detail with someone might help? I certainly can't wait to get to my therapist and unload some of this with him... I think I'm dealing relatively well, but maybe there are methods and thought processes I am not aware of and that would help.
You are in my thoughts.