Hi,
I think maybe you should work on you. Whatever program you are working is not addressing or focusing on your self hatred or feelings of self worth. From your earlier post you seem aware of these feelings and issues and how these feelings helped undermine your sobriety.
You keep falling into the self pity trap and part of your mind really thinks a 6-pack is a well- deserved answer. You could feel it building and yet...
Let the lady go for now. She cannot save you.
Think about it like a new player up from AAA. Pitchers mess with you. This relationship was your first at bat and you got schooled by your own internal issues. Get help - a mentor, a batting coach, a counselor, whatever works.
Best of luck Fire...