Thank you Mavis. Well...I did end up taking the time off and yes, it was what I needed. I feel calmer but still very down. I've never taken such a long time off work and I feel out of the loop and isolated, and a few emails and texts from my boss about how hard she's finding it without me haven't helped!
Still, it's given me time to think things through and process them, and that has made me see things clearer.
I went for the formal interview for the new job last Monday and was officially offered it. I start in January. It is a good move, a little local school which means I can see more of Mum and won't spend 2 hours a day travelling. I will be sad to leave where I am though. I've been there a long time.
Still strong in sobriety, still haven't smoked. These things I'm truly grateful for.