My AH had been battling addiction for years when he started working a program for his sobriety (meetings, sponsors, counseling, etc). The transformation was like night and day. Not only was he working his program, he was doing outreach programs to help others as well. He was sober for several years, but sadly he relapsed again and has been struggling ever since. Although I do agree that addiction damages your brain, my AH was 100% sober when he relapsed. He knew what would happen if he went down that road and he still CHOSE to do it. I'm fortunate enough to know people that have maintained their sobriety for years and they've often said how it took them an EXTENDED period of sobriety for them to take ownership of their choices.
As to why people/society view addiction differently from other diseases (heart disease, cancer, diabetes, etc), I think one of the reasons is due to all the crimes that are tied to drug use/addiction. It pains us to know that the people we love, the people who have shown us so many wonderful qualities can be capable of such things. Home invasions, beatings, robberies, carjackings, murder, etc. Some of these crimes have drug use as their root source, people desperate for money or under the influence of a substance. Many times the victims are innocent bystanders, who through no fault of their own, are victimized, and people are getting sick and tired of it. If someone you cared about was brutally victimized (God forbid), would you tell them “Well, they (the attacker) couldn't help themselves, they are just sick”? Would you stand before a judge and ask for leniency for the addict while your loved one lay in some hospital, or worse? Again, God forbid, but unfortunately situations like this occur everyday due to drug use.
Now on to the original post regarding Rational Recovery....................I say if it works for you, go for it. There are so many different paths that people take towards recovery. No two people are the same, what works for one may not work for the other. The same thing goes for the family members as well.
I'm all for trying everything under the sun, whether it's spiritual, secular, SMART, AA, NA, etc. Hell, I would have stood on my head yodeling at the top of my lungs (in the rain, while juggling swords) if I thought that would have helped. (I sometimes use humor to try and diffuse tense situations, I apologize if my last sentence offended anyone). I am always happy to hear of someone maintaining their sobriety or a family or marriage that has survived addiction. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I went through.
Healthy Living, I truly hope your story has a happy ending, with or without him. Break ups are hard (especially when addiction is involved), it's hard to let go of someone and the future you planned with them. The important thing is for you to be safe and to be able to live with the choices you make. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and only you know what your boundaries are. You know what your values and principles are and whether or not your partner is honoring them and honoring you. Best of luck to you.
p.s. I know that sometimes things can get heated in these discussions and emotions can run high, so if I said anything that hurt, triggered or offended anyone, I sincerely apologize.
Peace