Ha....Okay.. I can do this again... backbone is back up (maybe) lol....
thank you for the support and telling me like it is... ugh... just needed that reinforcement to knock this crap off... and yes, I'm still seeing the Therapist and yes being honest to a fault...
he says that Its the same thing for me... I want to be healed without putting in the work for being healed. I want a better me with out putting in the work for me.. I expect it all to be easy and instantaneous.. And I'm angry that its not... I go to these relationships to hopefully get enough gratification and involvement with others that need my help so I don't have to work on me...UGH...
The 6 weeks of no contact were great.. but hard... and just when I'm calm and life seems to be at an even keel.. I sabotage myself.. I was bored, I needed validation...