Originally Posted by
Meraviglioso 
I would ruin Christmas if I drank, I know that.
I definitely am still romanticizing wine, it is not my last, but clearly my most major hurdle to overcome. Right now I am just riding this out, trying to build up more time. I am avoiding triggers- today I had to close out the Facebook page I manage where I am connected to various food, gourmet, wine and fine dining sites. I am really choosy on what restaurant I go to on the few times I have been out. I haven't cooked certain meals and I am avoiding certain social gatherings like afternoons on the beach, aperitivo. But I won't be able to avoid all this forever, I need to change my mindset, or allow myself time that my mindset changes itself.
I feel like I have a decent handle on the "stereotypical alcoholic" behaviors. I had gotten to the point where I was drinking in the morning, randomly stopping at bars for a quick glass at all hours of the day, drinking alone. I've had a few morning cravings or thoughts to stop by a bar, but they have been fairly easily dismissed.
The ones I am having real trouble with are the "romantic" ones, the glass of wine with a meal, the afternoon beer on the beach, the girls night in over a bottle of wine, sipping on a glass while whipping up a gourmet meal.
The Italians say all the time "piano piano" slowly, slowly
Allow me to tell you a little of my story. I did not take my first drink until I was 29 years old - why? I gave in because my first husband wanted us to drink together - I ended up in a bad way until I was 41. At 41 I ran screaming to AA, loved it, made lifelong friends (to this day), but after 6 years of sobriety and shortly after marrying my second (and current) husband, ROMANTICIZED having a vodka on the rocks with him on our patio. He was hesitant but I SWORE to him that it would just be on the weekends...well we all know where that led, for the past 16 years I (we) drank together every night and our drinking got worse. It became the ROMANTIC thing to do, sit together and before my father moved in with us we would sit on the patio, drink several vodka martinis and gaze at the stars and talk for hours solving the worlds problems - right!!! Then I began to feel ill and noticed some physical things occurring that weren't right. On September 29, 2014 I took my last drinks and have now been sober for 23 days. My husband? He has quit also. I still ROMANTICIZE us having our cocktails together and how "bonded" we felt, but were we really? Or was it just the alcohol. Now he has a cranberry and soda, and I drink a diet snapple, and weekends I have my cranberry and ginger ale (just to remind me it's the weekend). Do we still feel bonded? ABSOLUTELY. Are we happy that we are doing this - YES, YES AND YES. Like I said I still ROMANTICIZE the drinking but what is romantic about stupid conversations (sometimes disagreements), the smell of vodka on our breaths, our fear that someone would call or come over while we were drinking, etc., etc., etc. I too am waiting for the romanticizing to go away and I know it will. It will for you too and we will both enjoy those times with the girls, those gourmet meals WITHOUT alcohol.
