Great job Mera! I hope you are feeling less tired. It's hard when something new comes along that is associated in your head with drinking. Thinking about Cooking a good meal and having a glass of wine is one that hits me. But it's never just a glass and I have nerve damage on my left index finger from where I carelessly sliced the corner of the tip off while drunkenly mincing parsley a few years ago.
I think I read a while back that your mother quit drinking a while back. Will you be spending time with her over the holidays? Maybe hang with her and see what she does. Even if you don't, making plans now is a good thing. And SR will be with you as well. I love the internet!