Thank you all for your responses and advice.
@sungrl we were only together for around 6 months which I know compared to some on here is no time at all but I feel the level of destruction caused in that time and now has been immense. He would only know information that I would have mentioned in the relationship and I never mentioned any kind of financial matters that I can recall although now I am even doubting myself. I feel like he had a way of asking questions and getting information out of me that he could then clearly use against me.
He previously threatened to lose a family member their job through loose information that I told him, but he could dig deeper on this and that really concerns me.
The thing that worries me are the threats he made before about messaging my family and he actually followed through on, and also that he is very very clever in terms of technology, finding information, possibly hacking things, I don't know how far he would go and what he is capable of.
I do see that he is an alcoholic and therefore is he even capable of what he says and I know he is using this to get a reaction because he knows how much I care about my family and the closeness we have, which he doesn't with his own, but I am just so concerned.
Last time he was threatening (after initial messages) I contacted his mother to tell her and ask her to have a word but I don't even see the point in that now and from what I can gather she isn't in a great place herself as she called me to talk the other night and I didn't answer because I just couldn't deal with the stress.
I don't know what he would get out of it other than feeling he has torn my family apart and left me in a pile of s*#t like he feels he is in.
I think I will call the police tomorrow and like you suggest maybe look into a legal standpoint as I just do not want him contacting myself or my family anymore, I have to get into my head that this could go on and on and if he apologies and I forgive it then it will just happen again. The police where I lived with him have a record of many things that were reported whilst we were together but now I am in a different city. I wanted to go back to the city where he lives as I love it there and there are many opportunities and friends I left behind but now I question would I be safe, or am I over reacting. I just don't know.
As for safety it mainly concerns me that he knows where other family members live and who I am staying with currently, or could find this out, although he doesn't have the access/funds to be able to get to them physically, and I do know some of his family are 'dodgy' but I'm not sure they would help him in any actions he may have that would break the law and get them sent to prison as they are also fully aware he is an active alcoholic.
He seems to have a huge fascination that my dad was a bit of a 'bad boy' in his day (nothing really bad just a rebel) and he keeps referring sarcastically to how 'hard' my dad and his family is and my dad is a piece of s*#t and then tells me I know nothing of his family and what they are capable of. He himself isn't a big guy but can certainly look after himself and I have witnessed what an insanely angry and crazy drunk he is.
The messages have kept coming for at least the past hour or so and I haven't responded once which I know will be making him more angry and I'm almost tempted to respond to try and calm the situation but I know this will do no good.
I need to try and find a way to tell my family but I just don't know how after everything they have already been through and I feel so ashamed that I have continued to stay in touch with him (which they are aware of) but now yet again it has come to threats and abuse about me and them. Some family members were very upset about what happened and what he said and it has taken time to rebuild the bridges with me and them.
Please let it all be just the ramblings of a fool and no further, but I know I MUST cut all contact and I guess face the consequences of that as surely that is better than this continual torment from him?? I am scared that if he feels I have cut him out totally what he may then do.
The sad thing is I know after all this I will still feel sorry for him if he gives me a sob story tomorrow or apologises and I will not stop missing him. What is wrong with me!!!!
He has implied in the last set of messages that he wants a harassment order because then he will release the full wrath of what he has on me and my family