Rr - avrt
Rational Recovery/AVRT has worked very well for me. As the Frank Sinatra Song goes, however, I did it my way.
First, I just up and quit. After 48 years. After deteriorating to a 1.75 L 'Handle' of Vodka every 2 days, 24/7 in early Retirement. A few months later, I found SR. Thereafter, I coincidentally followed the path of Freshstart57, and got wind of the methods that work for me, and that make sense. I learned of a Construct I could follow. It had a name; the Title of this Post.
I would liken RR to fighting Cancer by conscious choice outside the Western Medical Model. Elect to skip Chemo, and focus on more natural Methods. It's been done by some, and has worked for some. Or, perhaps a Woman with Cancer has some Lymph Nodes removed, but not all. Self Determination can work. I'm a firm believer in the Mind -> Body connection. The Mind resolves to never again pick up. The Hand never again picks up. Sobriety becomes a permanent state. By internalized choice; via internalized direction.
In the RR Model, I didn't 'go to' a 'Program' to be healed. I primarily healed myself with experienced assistance. One makes a Big Plan, and resolve unconditionally to quit. After not that long, there is no 'Relapse'. There is no 'White Knuckling'. There are no deals with the Devil after a 30 day Sobriety 'Test'. You have only very passing thoughts about something you simply can't go back to. I'm not some Moth waiting to fly into a Flame of Self-Destruction; kept out of the Flame only by some Regimen that I'm supposed to surrender to. I've moved completely far away from that proverbial Flame, and don't have to fear it.
It's an entirely different Paradigm, but I've always been one to rethink assumptions to find what's real, and what fits. For example, my [unoriginal] technique of making Amends: don't repeat behavior that requires them. Action speaks louder than words. The past is gone forever. I don't live in it. That's not Ego. That's simple, inarguable acceptance of Reality at the most fundamental level.
Self-Recovered types simply go out into the World and live Sober. I meet them at Parties. At our local Dog Park. Here at SR.
Over Lunch today, a lil Placard pitching a local Hard Cider mentioned that - long before Westernized Recovery Programs - Farm/Orchard Laborers received 4 Pints of Hard Cider/day. That's a ~Gallon of up to 15% to 18% Liquor daily. It defies Probability and Statistics to claim that none ever just up and quit Drinking. Of course they did. I've had Homemade 'Applejack'. Kicks you hard. We're hardly the first Generation to have Consciences, and exercise Free Will.
For those more comfortable with the Self Direction of Recovery - with assistance - RR/AVRT works. It might work in your situation; simply because it's a better fit to your 'Ex'es' Personality. No one else's Personality, or probability of success, matters whatsoever in his Recovery.
Let me close with 3 equivalent Statements. I don't kick Puppies. I don't hit Women. And, I don't Drink Alcohol. If the first 2 Statements seem utterly reasonable, and within a Person's Self Control, why do some characterize the 3rd Statement as being impossible to Self Realize and practice - as the first 2 - until the end of Life?