I get that. My parents did up holidays and birthdays because of course they were parties. Now I do the same thing and I always laugh because truthfully I hate parties. I would rather be me and a few close people on a couch any day.
Were getting close to the holidays making plans to go to parties I don't really want to be at with people I barely like and again I'm ramping up to get used to it. And I do the same thing I could get everything I want and be around everyone I want to be and still I'm grumbly about something. I don't really have anything helpful for you just that I understand.