Waterfalls...
Just getting to your original post now:
I've had her in rehab 3 times. The longest she's stayed is 1 week. She's destroying her life right in front of her eyes and I don't know how to get through to her. She's grown up with addiction all around her (me included from alcoholism). But she's always had a loving stable home and knows she's got support from me and her grandparents when she's ready to quit.
So she's been in rehab 3 times, the longest duration being a week, and:
would it be wise to talk to the judge and try to persuade a judgement for what I want? Or would it be better for tough love and to take a step back and let her deal with this?
Let's say for the sake of argument that you got the judge to give you what you want. What evidence is there to suggest that the fourth time would be a charm for your daughter?
I'm assuming you're in recovery (which is excellent). I bet you made the decision to pursue sobriety on your own. The same rules, therefore, apply to your daughter. The best thing to do for her, and yourself, is to step back and allow things to take their natural course. This means accepting that you may not like how things are turning out. But at the end of the day, there's nothing you can do for her. Your daughter is in this mess due to her choices. And if she has to pay a price, then that's the way it shall be. She pays it, not you.
Take care of you.