Originally Posted by
jewelsmn 
I want to love this guy.
How do I love this guy and not get caught up in his stuff. To me, he seems like a dry drunk.
If you are seeing red flags only 2 months into a relationship,
please pay attention! Don't ignore your intuition here. This thread might be useful:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...red-flags.html
You say you "want to love him." This sounds odd to me. If you're having to force the feeling of love, having to convince yourself that you love him, that is also a huge red flag. What is it you are really looking for? Security? Help w/your relationship w/your daughter? An A with less than a year of recovery, and a shaky-appearing recovery at that, is not likely to provide either one of those things, or much of anything else good.
Quite simply, jewelsmn, if he is not the man you want him to be right now, right this second, there is no reason to believe he will somehow become that man somewhere down the road. As is said here often, he is not his potential; he is who he is showing up as. And who he is showing up as, is someone who makes you uncomfortable. Ask yourself why you'd press on in the face of that...
Reading as much as you can here on SR will give you a perspective that I don't think you can get from your classes on what it's actually like to live w/an A. I hope you can make some time to do that.
Wishing you strength and clarity.