At 46 your best years are not behind you. If anyone knows different don't tell me. There was a time between quitting and getting my faculties back where it was just dead air. I didn't have alcohol to make me feel better and I didn't have a chemically normal functioning brain yet to enjoy things the way normal people do. This takes awhile to reset. When it did I told someone it felt like I left a flat two dimensional world and stepped into interactive three D.
At a year I went into the doc and got put on an antidepressant for the PMS and they really helped.