Not new to recovery when I came to SR but was desperate, in a foreign country (with my husband) and an AD who had relapsed in the US when I found this site and it was a lifesaver. Have made and taken steps since then...and also have relapsed with the codependency...so it is really a roller coaster. Feeling calmer since I am posting but still very confused and stressed...not just about the AD who cut contact, but life issues that need to be dealt with and taking steps but they are hard and feels as if I am moving in very slooooooooowwwww time...needing to figure out the next step, take one day at a time, find what is good for me (again), disinterested in the activities that gave me such pleasure over the past 10 years in recovery and life...just really hard feelings...afraid to talk but needing to express my feelings, feeling isolated and not able to relate well...just so much. I am grateful for the comments and friends I have on SR...as it is a new way of life for me...am working on me in recovery rather than all the other people I have been caretaker for over a lifetime...but the doubts and fears are there around my ability to do for me what I need to do. I feel very lost and lonely and the people here at sober recovery are helping...all of my children have empty nested in the last year (our move to Chile triggered that...so it was time) and it is as if those many years of close and wonderful family despite the addiction or illnesses I was caretaking in loved ones is at an end. I feel very afraid.