Hi there. I am sorry you are feeling so down, it is normal after a bout of hard drinking. I can't answer your question because I am fighting the same battle. But I do know this, you are not doomed to failure, success is always possible and is always worth fighting for. You have to keep trying.
About your partner, I have found that most non-alcoholics do not understand the problem and no matter how many times you try to explain it they aren't going to get it.
I wish you luck.