i have a long history of very hard drinking. I fooled myself into thinking that is was ok because these days I only drank wine. then it was moderation promises to myself, only at weekends, etc. none of that worked.
I've also taken a lot of drugs-coke, weed, speed, smack, uppers, downers,the list goes on.
I really think I've been at rock bottom for some years now, emotionally speaking. I just put on a good front in the outside world, and kept going somehow.
But several reasons have brought me to sobriety.
There's a woman who lives opposite me who drinks from about midday onward. she will only go out in the mornings. She looks like the walking dead. there are other people i know who drink heavily who are shaky, confused, ill and broke. That's what's waiting for me if I continue to drink.
I don't want my grandchildren to see their beloved granny deteriorate into a hopeless alcoholic, or die from it. I cannot do that to my family. Just thinking about that is enough to reduce me to tears.
I have IBS/ anxiety problems, and whatever damage I have done to myself over the years which isn't showing yet. I don't want to add to that.
I feel weary of my raving addictions, which have controlled my life up til now. it's time to grow up and get on with life.
I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
So there was a calm and mature voice in my head that just a week ago just said " It's time. you can do it now". so I found this forum and began. I'm just grateful that I'm still alive to make a new start.
Bless you all x