Say it how you see it Cow. That's all any of us can do. I love the Cow threads but I wonder how much we are actually helping you anyway. I have learned a lot from interacting on your threads so I do. It seems that certain things we just go around with. You have tried EVERYTHING to quit and NOTHING works. So don't bother even talking about sobriety. We say that a fair amount of your mental and emotional problems could be caused by using. You say no childhood trauma and OD are the culprits. Once again taking the spotlight off the obvious getting 100% clean.
I'm a astricking hypocrite anyway. I tell people how much better it is sober and right now I want a cigarette so bad I am shaking. I am 6 days in and crawling out of my skin at the moment. Just ride it out right? It get better right? I hope I make it!!!!