isn't part of amends listening to the other person about how our/your action impacted?
wouldn't giving your wife the space and time to say her piece be a necessary part?
wouldn't it be necessary for you/us to hear it without arguing about it?
maybe set aside a time that's mutually convenient without kids around and tell her the amends you're making (being sober and treating her 'better') and accept what she might need to say?