Originally Posted by
zjw 
...but words mean nothing saying sorry wtf for? I know i'm sick enough i could do that to her all over again even worse the next go around and not think twice once the claws of the disease are sunken deep back in me.
Perhaps think about seeing a marriage councilor and discussing your amend there so you'll be in a in neutral space.
I grew up in a household where apologizes/saying sorry meant nothing and these days a big believer of living amends. Nobody wanted to hear me say sorry esp. not my wife. What she rightfully wanted was a change in my behavior which she got.
You've got three years sober and as long as you stay sober you're in a position to think your actions through before say putting your marriage at risk.