Is your wife getting any help for herself? Obviously it won't go well if you suggest it, but we all need help unraveling who's issues are who's.
Make your amends however you see fit - as long as you are sincere, actions will speak louder than words.
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I think she could about my nonsense and other stuff but htats her choice to discover or not etc... I dont want to judge her like that.
Lucky for me my antics could have been worse. there are a LOT of stories considerably worse then mine and thank god I broke free from the claws of it before it got worse then it already was.