yeah I know dee but from my view what i did was unforgiveable nothing i could ever say would be acceptable. She might throw it in my face? tho she has not in all these years go figure... but words mean nothing saying sorry wtf for? I know i'm sick enough i could do that to her all over again even worse the next go around and not think twice once the claws of the disease are sunken deep back in me.
rather then make ammends i've chosen to sober up be a better father husband person etc.. i figure actions have more weight then any words i could ever throw at it.
but yeah it doesnt hange the fact that its clearly not a topic i want to even discuss i just cant i got too choked up and have been cryen since.
sure i feel sorry but what does it matter the proof is in the pudding i'm sober now etc.. i dunno how to handle this properly. i've stuffed this issue in a dark corner. its crazy i can apologize for just about anything but this? like i said it just seems unforgiveable.