Hello MamaBee and welcome
I was a binge drinker too; after the first drink, I was gone. But giving up has been far easier (and much more motivating) than I would ever have expected. Once I realised that it was that
first drink which did all the damage, I was on my way to a brand new life.
The wisdom, support and humanity on this site is amazing. I would advise you to read a lot and to post often - and you'll never feel alone in this struggle again