Thank you all for your kindness and support. I made it through and am sober and feeling better. I tried all kinds of strategies and ultimately ended up just crying through the urges (is that a tool? Ha). I can't believe how hard it is this time, way harder than last time. It blinds me and tells me sobriety sucks and isn't worth it. I know that's not true, but when it's right there yelling in my ear it's so hard to hear anything else.