Did you really snuff out any possibility of reconcilliation? Why? And why would you listen to "well-meaning friends" and not to your own heart? There are no rules in this, only opinions.
If you feel remorse, and like you want to give things another chance, then why don't you just go back and apologize to him, tell him that you accept him for who he is, warts and all, and that you've been thinking that you want to give things another chance?
I'd leave out the rational recovery and the urging him to quit drinking for a while though. If he's open to seeing you again, then maybe try to make the relationship work on his terms for a while, as quitting drinking doesn't seem like much of a priority for him. Maybe later you'll be able to press it a bit more.