Originally Posted by
lillamy 
I'm like you. I've forgiven the A I was married to. I'm still working on forgiving myself. Part of it for me is perfectionism. I don't expect it of others, but I hold myself to an impossible standard. It's cruel. And there's a lot of pride in it. It's almost like I'm saying "yeah, you peons can't be perfect, of course, but I should be able to." It's a weird mix of pride and self-loathing.
You are definitely not alone here. I have a great fear of failing and screwing up, but am perfectly reasonable and relaxed when others make mistakes. However, I used to
not be reasonable or relaxed with others' mistakes, so at least I know that progress is possible!
For me it's a thing of, "If I am perfect no one can hurt me." Not sure how many times I have to have that proven wrong for it to sink in...