Not my fault that these events have happened, nor that the timing has been difficult, but I do see it as a failing that I can't walk through them better than I am.
I've worked so hard with counselling, I was seeing someone for a long time. I wonder now what the point was. If I'm always going to go round in this big loop...then why bother.
If I retrace some of my old posts, it's like a spiral of positive, uncertainty, fear and then depression. I'm just not able to maintain stability in my mental health. I'm far more self-aware but that makes it worse somehow.
I don't want to always be like this.