Glee your personal journey and work done into self inventory and some of the problems you discovered have made me aware that I'm absolutely sure I'm scared about what I'll find out about myself. I'm also intrigued and inspired.
I want to see a counselor because self confidence has been a hit/miss issue. Failing at being sober has done a lot of damage. Being a drunk has done a lot of damage. So I think I need to find a dual diagnosis person.
I had class tonight. It's the last one - next week is an at home final. Those are pretty damn hard to be honest. They purposely try to make it so hard because it's open book. I never took such long tests before. 3.5 hours and I usually need them all.
In my Bachelor's program, I'd study, go to class and do an 2 hour test in 1 hour because I studied and be fine. This open book stuff has been worse. I study and still spend those hours.
I mentioned and freaked out about being sad for my friends lately. Lots of stuff and today new bad news. I invited a girlfriend over and she said in a long email she couldn't her step-dad who raised her is in the hospital with stroke or brain cancer with no idea what is going on. I didn't know what to say - just if you need anything let me know, she's in my thoughts.
Then I walked into a co-worker in sobs in the bathroom. She lost her dad 3 weeks ago and I went to the visitation. She was crushed and now I guess mom wants to get rid of the pet and because of it's age, put it to sleep. I wish I had the place to take her pet in, she's been through so much. I let her know if she wanted to talk, go to dinner or lunch - I'm there.
So I wasn't kidding my friends are having a bad year and it seems to stay that way for now. I know this is just a bad wave for the year. There are also very happy years.
I'm still seeing two girlfriends tomorrow. That's not normally something I plan for after work but I wanted to see them. Yippeee. So I'm excited for that.
Thanks for all the support Febbies, I'm hoping I keep with it this time. Tired from work and school, so goodnight.