Originally Posted by Venecia

Jeremy,

I've been on SR nearly a year. The outpouring of support I've seen for you surpasses anything I've seen during that time.

You have my support, too, you really do. The pain in your posts is undeniable and not one among us, if we are honest about what addiction did or could have done to us, cannot read them and know it could be or could have been us, now or at some point.

But I need to ask you a question: What do you want from SR? In your darkest moments, you've received compassion and heartfelt encouragement. When you've relapsed and/or not medicated, your bravado and descriptions of persecution have been met with candor and heartfelt encouragement. In response to your stated commitment to rehab and rebuilding, you get post after post reminding you of your value and heartfelt encouragement.

I'm starting to wonder -- fear, really -- this is enabling you on some level. You get so many "atta boys." And you need them; I get it.

Still, you've written at least two organizations have a waiting bed for you and nothing happens.

My concern for you is that while things seem to have hit rock bottom for you, they can get worse. You've said medical professionals have warned that your physical well-being is at risk. I won't recap the other things.

Jeremy, it has to be rehab. Now. Not "thinking about it" and not complaining that you've not been provided resources. You may have to start your life from scratch, but it's a start. And nothing bad ever came from a new beginning. I also am convinced that rehab is not going to focus only on your addictions and mental illness. There will be people there to help you rebuild -- housing, assistance for utilities, job hunting, financial matters. You're not the first person who has needed to rebuild a life as you get the help needed to treat your mental illness and put addiction into your past.

You can do this. You have to do this. Now. Stop worrying about the rest of it. It will be OK. People in your real life -- your life in rehab -- will help you rebuild. But you have to start on your new beginning now. Rehab isn't going to be where you lose things that really matter. It will be where you begin to regain them.

Now, Jeremy.