Originally Posted by haennie

When I started experiencing intense cravings for alcohol, a mental obsession about when and how I can get to the liquor store and then home asap, and would pour myself a drink first thing upon arriving home (early 30's). In retrospect, it's clear that I was already drinking alcoholically even before I became very aware of the cravings and obsession (and I suspected it as a problem), but it took a while for a realization to fully hit my consciousness. From that point on, I never questioned my addiction anymore or went back to denial and living that way (fully aware of what I was doing but unable to stop) was definitely the most painful phase of it. Several years of that. I got sober a month before my 40th birthday.