A loser a screw up, the epitome of loser and losing
That is how this man feels, I've lost it all, I have nothing . I lost my daughter to CPS, they want me to do rehab but have offered no resources, if I do rehab I lose my apartment and power and everything that goes with it.
Every ounce of my energy is focused on wanting to get better. I do AA, I try to stay sober, I do what I gotta to do, but I feel like this is rigged game.
Yep, schizophrenic, paranoid delusional, no drinking, limited smoking, that is the road to recovery right? I don't feel like it, I want rehab, need rehab but screw myself if I do it, what answers? Where are there answers, what recovery?
What the hell does recovery look like? Happiness, a resolution! Really, depriving myself of everything, checking myself into a recovery center, and then being homeless and lost doesn't solve my issues.
Taking atypical anti psychotic medication, taking anti-depressants, taking anxilytotics, Yep the voices are gone, yep cutting dowon on smoking and drinking, but at least when I heard **** I had friends and I found a equilibrium.
Who else is going to tell you, they can't win they miss there own delusions. Being deluded isn't the end of the world, its the end of reality.
I am going to bad place, medicated and depressed and missing my life of delusion, at least ther I was somebody, going to work a temp job tomorrow, I want rehab but have bills. Others have told me rheab no matter what but rehab no matter what means losing my life all my stuff and starting from scratch....
Is that really the system wants it to be, really? TDG is medicated and sober, but really thinking about drinking tonight and just forgetting it all, he won't ever get his daughter back, get better, or get the things he needs. He loses, good day folks. Slid down the depressive hill and wanting to drink, can't drink,but nothing is getting better, go to 30 day rehab and lose my stuff and life, no winner here. I hate alcohol and mental illness and where I am at.