Old 10-10-2014, 02:23 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
PinkCloudsCharley
Member
 
PinkCloudsCharley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
Originally Posted by BlueChair View Post
Someone told me a while back they thought Craft would work best when couples have a good relationship, because how can you work it if your so filled with anger and bitterness at your spouse ? It wouldnt end up very positive or sincere!

I think you should have hope because at least right now your both engaged in change. Seeing the counselor is an important step too. I think somewhere in craft, and I know smart says it doesnt intend to be a replacement for professional aid, but it accompanies these efforts. I found it fits right in with our counseling because we focus a lot on communicating, understanding ourselves and each other.

Thank you for your words, its hard. I dont feel ashamed of reaching out for help, or for reading things to help me or our relationship. But its also awkward. somewhere in the book I think it talks about a woman who started using it, she didnt tell her husband. months went by and they were doing better. one day he found the book, thumbed through it and told her this book would be good for one of their neighbors. He was sincere and she had to laugh, its how subtle craft is, not like dropping a bomb.
So how do you work through your anger and bitterness? I genuinely love him, and want to have that great relationship back, but sometimes my resentment takes my breath away. It's like a demon living inside my heart, if that makes sense. It says to me, don't get too happy, don't trust too much, don't believe him, he's hurt you and he's going to again. Those feelings come at the strangest times, so I'm almost taken by surprise. I have to force the feelings back down to feel the happiness and love again. Does that make any sense at all?

My AH is totally like the woman's husband in the book. I'm sure he doesn't even realize I've already begun to change the way I interact with him without even reading the book (I'm still on the introduction) I've been much more positive and encouraging and I can see the change in him also, and I doubt he even knows what I've done LOL! I think that's the way couples should be though, positive and uplifting, and I know I've failed miserably, especially these past few years. It changes now!
PinkCloudsCharley is offline