Yes! I should add that I think the decision was correct and the right one. Kids don't know what is best for them - that is why they have parents
. They also have a right to be confused and express emotion.
My house was much more calm *prior* to the separation but it was also way way more dysfunctional. The first year was a tumultuous one with many changes and challenges but it was the right decision. The only thing I could have done differently was seek my own recovery prior to things getting so far and there was 2 months when my ex got out of rehab and came back home before he left for good. He was a person I did not know and the ranting and crazy that happened in those two months was more than any of us had experienced previously combined. I'm sure it was traumatizing for them. It was traumatizing for me.
If I had been more together I would not have had him back home those two months and I'd have been more stable and able to absorb their emotions after the move too.
We did have counseling which was valuable. I read a couple books to my older boys that helped - especially the oldest. He was 10/11yo at the time.
It is rough - no doubt about it - but there is something to be said for working through the rough times instead of avoiding them.